Getting Along for Birth - Come Find out How!

Are you a doula who is finding it increasingly more difficult to be accepted at hospital births?  A nurse who dreads when a woman in labor says - I have a doula?  Have you ever thought - why can't we all get along?  Well I am here to tell you - we CAN!  Over 15 years I attended births in hospitals all over NJ and PA.  Twenty hospitals in all.  Most were pretty doula friendly - at least enough so that it didn't bother me.  But over the years I also saw that change.  And wondered - why?  What is happening to make it change?  You would think that as the years went on the nurses and docs would see that this benefits women and them as well.

One point I would like to make is when you attend a birth in a hospital setting you are there for the mother and the mother alone - however - you are also going into someone elses "house" so to speak.  What are you doing to be a good guest?  And what are the nurses and doctors doing to be good hosts?  Are we truly doing what is best for the laboring woman or are we running our own agenda?

Are we preparing her to be her own advocate before labor?  Or are we believing that we will rescue her and make it all better for her?  A very wise and sage woman I know once asked in a workshop she was teaching - are you responsible TO the laboring woman or FOR her?  Think about that.  And boy, did I.  My whole way of practicing changed after that - and for the better!  I started teaching women more of how to get what they wanted and needed for their birth.  Truly empowering them to not only seek out what they wanted and whom to go to to get it but also allowing them to be responsible if they did not!

That woman was Polly Perez and in April I will have the honor of co-teaching a CAPPA labor doula workshop with her at Copley Hospital in Morrisville, VT.  We are hoping that doulas and nurses will come together to hear what we have to say - about being a doula and how nurses and doulas can work togehter for the benefit of women!  That my friends is what it is all about.  Hope you can join us but if you can't let us know and maybe we can bring our workshop to your location.

Not a Snow Bird!

Anyone who knows me also knows that I do not like cold weather.  When most people are happy to bring out their winter sweaters and coats at the end of fall I am whining about it.  I don't like hats, scarves and gloves.  Large amounts of snow give me anxiety.  Don't like skiing, sledding, or ice skating.  Give me 90 degrees anyday.  I even love summer clothing.  This past week I got to get out some of my summer things and get them ready.

So it is with great pleasure that Jerry and I leave tomorrow for Florida.  Although I am not a huge Florida fan I do love my Phillies - off to spring training camp we go.  And, it will be warm.  Tomorrow it is suppose to be 69 but the rest of the time we are there it will be 75-80.  I will be in my element.  See everyone when we get back.  If I could stay I would but them I would not have my wonderful family with me and that I could not stand - so for now I tolerate the winter.

I am wondering what Kaydence will think - us gone so long.  She is so used to us being there every day.  She doesn't like it when I stay after work to teach a cbe class.  The next morning she says - Nan, you were not at the table for dinner.

Last weekend when I taught my workshop and didn't get home until after she was in bed Saturday and Sunday she said on Monday - Now Nan, that class was just too long.  Oh, the wonderful mind of a three year old!

If I Can't Be a Doula...

This week was tough.  Last weekend I taught a CAPPA Labor Doula workshop to 10 wonderful women.  It had been an incredible week - busy but satisfying.  Then this past weekend I became ill with what turned out to be strep throat.  Really felt bad.  Tried to go to work on Monday then realized how very ill I really was.

A few years ago I had to make a tough decision - give up my lifes passion practicing as a full-time doula.  Jerry (my husband) had been so supportive of this very important work I did.  But now he was ill with heart disease and we were about to lose our health insurance.  We were paying over $1,000 a month for COBRA and it was running out - and of course no health care benefits as a doula.  So, I decided to go back to school and get my MicroSoft certificate and try to return to Princeton University - where I worked 20 years ago.

I just reached my 3rd year anniverary.  If I can't be a doula than this is the next best thing.  I LOVE my job but more importantly, I love the people I work with.  We are an amazing team and everyone is treated with respect.  Friday Jerry and I leave for Florida on vacation.  I was out ill Monday and Tuesday and instead of getting pressure as to when I would be coming back the Dean of my College wrote to me and said to take my time coming back and to only return once I felt well enough.  Knowing full well I will not be in on Friday and then all next week.  This academic year we lost our part-timer but still the people I work with are more concerned with my health than the fact that they will all have to cover for me while I am out ill.  Totally amazing!

They are also very supportive of my teaching and my work as a doula - respect it - and encourage me to do what I can around the constraints of my committment to a full time job.  Can't ask for better than this.

Working with Polly - We All Need Mentors

Throughout my birth work I have been terribly fortunate to have some mighty fine mentors.  Anita was my very first - taking me under her wing and first helping us get fathers present for cesarean births then later telling me that yes, even though I was not an RN I could be a childbirth educator.  She opened the flood gates.  Then there was Gwen - a wonderful midwife - and many others in between and since.  About 15 years ago I met Paulina (Polly) Perez at a conference and a few months later she came to NJ from Texas to present a workshop for doulas.  Not only was she wonderfully smart and intelligent - especially when it came to birth - she was warm and open.  We have had a friendship ever since.

I am so proud and excited to announce that Polly and I will be presenting a CAPPA - Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association - in Vermont (where she now resides) on April 28th and 29th.  This workshop is being sponsored by Copley Hospital and is being supported as an educational opportunity by AWHONN of Vermont.

Polly has published many books about the work of doulas - the very first of its kind - Special Women - a must read for anyone even thinking about working as a doula.  Contact Polly at http://www.cuttingedgepress.net/ if you would like a copy.

If you would like additional information about this workshop please contact me at njdoula1@aol or go to the CAPPA website - http://www.cappa.net/.  I am thinking if I can get enough people from my area interested in going we could rent a van and split the cost.  I am willing to drive.  Also, lodging seems relatively inexpensive.  So if you are interested contact me NOW - I am sure this will fill fast!!  Thanks Polly - you are the BEST!

CAPPA

So, people ask me what I love about CAPPA.  I have been affiliated with this amazing organization for more than 10 years now and am currently a faculty member teaching labor doula workshops and the Assistant to the Director of Labor Doula programs.  But the bottom line - other than the wonderful sisterhood that exists, this is what gets me every time.

The CAPPA Vision
Imagine a world where women are encouraged to trust their bodies, and where myths about childbirth and breastfeeding are dispelled. Imagine a world where women are given the tools they need to make informed decisions about their pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum experiences. Imagine a world where education does not involve guilt but seeks to empower. Imagine a world where women are surrounded by caring, compassionate support throughout the childbearing year. Imagine a world where new mothers are equipped to embrace pregnancy, birth, and motherhood with confidence. Imagine an organization that volunteers every day to make this a reality. CAPPA - reality begins with imagination.

Whats not to love?

Introduction

Hello everyone.  This is a new venture for me.  I have decided to use this space to blog about some of my passions in life including doula work, birth and my family.  I hope you will follow along and comment when you feel the need.

Some years ago when our first grandchild started talking and golden things came from her little mind and mouth, I started a book.  But over the years for one reason or another life got in the way and I stopped writing.  I hope to use this space for that as well, but also for blogging about birth issues and doula information.  Please join me.  Take care,